I really don't think what you said was controlling. I actually think HE's being more controlling.
Your husband wants to just up and do stuff as he pleases, he won't communicate or plan ahead with anyone else or even ask if there ARE plans already... and when he finds out there ARE.. he POUTS to guilt people into feeling sorry for him.
Don't think YOU controlled that, it was HIM. You stood your ground though and just left it... HE needs to learn he can't just do stuff as he pleases, he needs to plan ahead.
If his MIL makes arrnagements with his kids, he has to get used to that and learn to negotiate and inquire about schedules. Sorry, but he just sounds like a big baby.
Maybe I am reading things wrong, but he just reads as terribly selfish and immature still.. he has a lot of work to do.
