The dreaded LIMBO

[4luv]

Husband made his first attempt to reconcile today. I have ignored all of husband's text since Saturday and today after receiving emails and texts from husband I did respond with "When you are ready to talk call me. I do not like communicating via text or email."

Husband responded with "ok" and then texted "I am in a meeting." I wasn't expecting him to actually call, he has avoided me for a week and a half. However, he did end up calling me and I missed his call. I returned the call and this is the first time we have spoken to each other since the morning of the OW phone call.

I decided before returning his call that I was not going to lead the conversation and that I will hold my cards close. Husband ask about the birthday party, I told him the date and he got snappy because I mistakingly planned the party on a day that he had to work. I forgot that prior to all the drama when husband and I were actually speaking that he had switched his days off so that he could make the party on a date that we originally agreed on. However, after the drama with OW, I was left to make arrangements for the party alone and when the date was not available I honestly didn't think twice about the fact that husband wouldn't be able to make it on another day. So that led to husband being upset which I quickly said "I did not have time to think about you and your schedule when I was planning the party." Husband calmed down after that and apologized.

Then husband said that he saw the pics from my photoshoot online (I guess he has been checking on my profile using someone else's log in) and told me that I did a good job.

From there the conversation went to the OW phone call. Husband said that there are no words for him to say to me. He said that he broke it off with OW that day and she got upset and said she was going to call and tell me everything. He told her "I don't give a F..." He said that he was calling her bluff because he didn't really think that she would call. He said that he was not out of town and was at work and that it is impossible for him to make a 9 hour drive in the timeframe that it all happened. Husband said that he has been spending the last week reflecting on all the bad decisions that he made, how he has lost his family. He told me that he wants to do whatever it takes for our marriage to work. He is willing to do anything that I need to build trust.

I didn't respond. I did however tell him that I have a lot of anger towards him and that I have also been thinking this past week about all the hurtful things that occurred due to his behavior over the past year. I told him I would be willing to talk to him in person but there has been a lot of damage done.

All,
please help. I have wanted a chance to work on my marriage but I have also learned that I can't and don't want to accept whatever crumbs my husband throws out. I have been reading on manipulation and honestly I still don't trust if this new "revelation" is truthful or just another way to control everything. How do I move forward...Should I turn down this first request or do I tell husband what I need in order to attempt to work on our marriage and then watch his actions? he is even saying that he will relocate to where I am.

My first thing is absolutely NO CONTACT with OW...PERIOD. Then I would want us to attend Family Therapy together. After that I don't know. I just don't want to be foolish and rush into this and it all be fake.