Thank you V - I really do appreciate you saying that.
I told her this morning what I would like to happen regarding breakfast, the dishes, etc. with the boys and she agreed, apologied for the mess.
Said that it would be OK if I started dropping them off in the morning.
Kind of edged toward me wanting a hug, so I gave her one.
Told me that she wished we could be friends. I guess I was asking pretty - what's the word - businesslike. I just said, "who said we're not friends?" just pretty matter-of-factly, and I'm sure the tone came across as "well that's just too bad."
Thinking about it today, I think what I'd like to tell her is, we're not friends. I'm your husband, or I'm not. That's not "friends"
Doesn't really matter at this point. It's not about her.
I think part of what's happening to me now is, taking care of everything myself, I'm internalizing finally that I DON'T NEED HER. I don't mean that in a petty way, what I mean is, the world hasn't ended, I can run the house, I can parent the boys, I can balance work (and maybe not be the gunner that I was, but that's OK), I can have a life, and I can do it all without her.
