I have made strides in trying to get my life together for myself and my kids. School is now finished for me and the next thing on my personal agenda is getting a job and getting more certifications under my belt. No one said it would be easy but all of the work that I am doing for myself will pay off eventually. Right now, I am all that my children have and can depend on when it comes to H and I. This is what keeps me going. Hope everyone is having a good day.
This IS part of DB efforts... putting effort into making YOURSELF a strong person who may WANT their marriage but doesn't NEED their marriage.
If you NEED your marriage, then you aren't db-ing very well.
Unless you are holding onto some childish fantasy of being rescued by a handsome prince... which I seriously doubt you would be naieve enough to plan for.
IF it takes a month,t hat's fine, the call is in, its starting these things that's improtant.. if it takes a month then that's fine. You are a busy woman so its not like you will be watching the clock right?
And ya, I mentioned about teh $$ before. Every dime he spends to maintain a life OUTSIDE the HOME (rent, phone bill, internet bill, TV, auto costs etc... all the things that you could SHARE without additional cost) is WASTED when he tries this lone wolf BS routine.
How much do you think he's spending a month to maintain himself excluding groceries? If you two shared a roof, his rent is then an eliminated cost, if you two shared a phone then the extra phone is an elimindated cost, if you two share internet and TV that cost eliminated, if you share a car, a HUGE cost is again eliminated (not gas, but insurance).
If you sat down and did the accounting for your monthly maintenance and his on a spreadsheet and did the math you will see how much money is wasted... you would have to split costs up into something that could be eliminated and not.
If he were living under your roof for example the additional groceries would still be needed for example...
I think you will see what I mean.. its just accounting, but you will see how much money is WASTED... or, can be SAVED if he was under the same roof.
THIS is the VERY REASON why a LOT of spouses who DO live under the same roof do NOT do full No contact and move out.... They claim it will COST so MUCH MORE...
Well, your H IS CONSUMING that cost NOW.
This BS about him doing EVERYTHING he CAN to support his kids is just THAT.. BS. His lone wolf game here is costing you hundreds a month!
