I don't think you're being selffish with S. I bet if it's anything like how I am feeling, it's not that you just want to keep S all to yourself, but more that you don't want S to be around a bad influence or someone who doesn't have experience with S. My Aunt went thru something similar with an asbsent H, so when it came time for his time with their S, he took him away just screaming for his mom. I can see that happening with me/us, and it's scary!
For your b-day, it's nice that he actually wanted to do something for you, but like you're saying, you don't want to get your hopes up. In some ways you don't want to discourage H to do something good, but I don't know how you can do it without letting your heart get involved again. I guess you really have nothing to lose by telling him not to do anything unless he wants an R from you. He still hasn't made any steps towards you, so this gives you a chance to reiterate your point, and worse case, he doesn't get you anything and you're right back to where you are. But the problem I can see is that despite saying that to him, it's going to hard to not let a small portion of yourself to have hope that he might still get you something, and be disappointed when he doesn't.
You have a great attitude though. I love that you are so confident, independent, and sociable! Keep it up! =)
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
