Who knows what is going thru his mind. Maybe its his way of starting over with you, fresh, end the old R, start a new one. Maybe he wants to see what you will do. Don't push him to stop, continue with the continuance, show him you care and love him. You two have made some great strides lately, stay the course.
Quote: Maybe its his way of starting over with you, fresh, end the old R, start a new one.
Yes, but he did say that he was still mad at me and didn't trust me. You really think he wants to end the old R and start again....probably with someone else maybe....not me . I remember at one point in our weekend he stared really long and hard at this woman on the street. Does that sound like someone that is focused on me?
Quote: Don't push him to stop, continue with the continuance, show him you care and love him. You two have made some great strides lately, stay the course.
I'm in contact with my attorney now. I may end up going with a dismissal so that he can turn around and re-file for the d. Do you think that is wrong? As it stands now I have gained all the monetary things...the house, the equity, etc. Should I give all that up just to prove a point that I don't want the d?
Quote: A Divorce is just a piece of paper.
I suppose...I just don't feel like that is how he thinks.
I know these are hard times for you. I wish I had fought my divorce, maybe things would be different. One never knows what is in there mind. Him looking at the other could have just been him staring off into space. Don't read anything into it.
If he had someone to start a new R with, he would not be seeing you.
Take a deep breath, go back to the DB book and read.
If he loved you in the right way, he'd put a stop to it. I'm going through the same thing myself, I would encourage you not to make him refile, that would be counterproductive.
Do you want to be with someone who can say those warm and fuzzy things to your face one minute and then turn around and encourage the D to go through the next day? Obviously thats not the true love its gonna take to turn this thing around..
Your best approach is to allow things to unfold as they are, DB for yourself and know you will survive after the dust clears. Some WA's need legal closure despite feeling whatever, before they can come back. Don't ask me why, its just the way it is.
Don't stand in his way, be a person he'd want to stand in front of if the show were on the other foot.
Now is the time to remain calm and confident, no panic, you can handle it, he's going to notice how you react, so keep your cool as best you can, its not the end of the universe, just another step in the process.
Quote: If he loved you in the right way, he'd put a stop to it.
Yes, I see that now.
Quote: Do you want to be with someone who can say those warm and fuzzy things to your face one minute and then turn around and encourage the D to go through the next day? Obviously thats not the true love its gonna take to turn this thing around..
No. I can't believe he would do this though.
Quote: Some WA's need legal closure despite feeling whatever, before they can come back.
I wonder if he will come back...I'm not sure he will after the d.
Quote: its not the end of the universe, just another step in the process.
I know this is a process but I wonder if it is one that will reunite us. The d sounds so final.
I will not say anything about this to him tonight when I see him. I'll just act as if we are together...see if that illicits some kind of response....may be bad but at least I'll know where I stand with him. Apparently all this weekend was was a desire for sex and he said all the right things to get me to give in.
I'm trying to stay in the fight but don't feel as though I can take anymore of these hard knocks. He's determined to have the d. And this weekend was just to satisfy his lust nothing more...he said all the right things for me to give in. I should not have been with him.
I think I'm ready to throw in the towel....like my dad says if he wants to come back after the d then he can fight his way back. I've put myself out on a limb too many times with no reaffirmation that he wants to be married.
Quote: I will not say anything about this to him tonight when I see him. I'll just act as if we are together...see if that illicits some kind of response....may be bad but at least I'll know where I stand with him.
I think that this is your best plan right now Cindy. Act as if you don't know about his call, and see if he brings it up.
Quote: Apparently all this weekend was was a desire for sex and he said all the right things to get me to give in.
Who knows what going through his head right now?!
To do a 180 on your thinking, it just MIGHT be possible that he really did have a good time with you this weekend, is having second thoughts about things, and was just checking up on the paperwork out of curiousity??
I would hate to wager either way, but it might be a safe bet that it's something in between these two trains of thought?
Try not to panic yet. See what this evening brings, if anything.
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
Quote: Ok, my attorney just let me know that my h has called her office this morning asking about the final divorce papers and if they were ready!!!
cindy,
I just want to be sure that I'm reading this right...
he called YOUR atty? to see if YOU had the d papers ready?
Quote: I'm so upset...I mean he was with me this whole weekend, slept with me, said he loved me, took me out to eat, I mean come on!!! What happened!?
what happend? don't know maybe he called the atty to see if you were still taking action toward d? or maybe the weekend was one last fling before the end...or maybe the weekend was so great with you that he's rushing for d now so that he doesn't have to think about how great it could be with you. One never truly knows what goes through the mind of another or what is meant by their actions..is there any way you could ask him about his intentions in calling your atty?
what happend? don't know maybe he called the atty to see if you were still taking action toward d? or maybe the weekend was one last fling before the end...or maybe the weekend was so great with you that he's rushing for d now so that he doesn't have to think about how great it could be with you. One never truly knows what goes through the mind of another or what is meant by their actions..
Ya, what LL said!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
. I remember at one point in our weekend he stared really long and hard at this woman on the street. Does that sound like someone that is focused on me? 
