You mentioned you expect him to get evil. Do you believe that he is an evil person, or is this just the rut he has been in for the last year or so?
The reason I ask is that divorce mediation may reduce the conflict a lot. If you expect a tough time, then I think a court room would scare anyone. If mediation doesn't work (arguing, etc), then you could go to court. At the very least, maybe there are some things that you could do cooperatively, and leave the bigger things for court. I'm sure some people go reluctantly, but mediation is more likely to get what is best for the kids and both parents - and that means less resentment and less trying to punish each other.
I'm sorry - I still have hope that somewhere deep inside is a man that loves you. I hope that it comes out before it is too late.
