WAW Using God II

[tryingtilDorR]

I am in alignment with this and it has been part of what sustains me throughout this ordeal, and when I feel sorry for myself I think of this as well as the sacrifice I am making for my children.

By the standards of what God asks us to do, I think I'm getting a lot. No it isn't pleasant, but I'm learning a lot about myself. The saying "that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" applies. And in terms of religious leaders I talk to, to a man they say they have nothing to add to what I am doing; I am doing the right thing. And in terms of what I feel is the message I'm getting from God, I am doing the right thing by holding on. Sure it hurts sometimes. But the "better or worse, sickness and health" part of my vow I took seriously. And I still love my wife. And I don't feel that I am entitled to 24/7 happiness. There are times when we have crosses to bear. We can run from them and take the easy way out. Or we can bear them, and reap the reward later.

For me, 'holding on' means I am not filing for D. However I can detatch and let her go and let God sort this out one way or another. He can't force her to make choices, however, so I need to be ready to go on without her.