I'd like to add my own experience to this concerning former loves.
With the advent of Facebook, it seems more and more people are reconnecting with ex's. It seems that for many, myself included, that somewhere deep down, feelings still exist for a former love/spouse, after many years.
I suupose this is especially true if the current relationship is not going well.
I reconnected with a former love after many years and had an affair. It was easy for both of us, taking us back to an idyllic time when everything was good, no kids, responsibilities, etc. Most of our emails centered on just that - the past.
When I did get to see her, it was just ok, although the momentum of the emotional sharing carried over to getting physical. Once we ended it, I found closure to that part of my past.
It's now where it should have been all along - a good memory from my past.
Now I have a new mountain to overcome if it comes to that, which is putting my wife in my past. To tell you the truth, I do not see a new relationship with someone else without being affected with the memories of my life, moments shared, and feelings that I have for my current wife.
It is truly scary. A relationship just doesn't work out without both partners giving it their all. That doesn't even count the baggage the future partner brings into the relationship. Perhaps that's why 2nd & third marriages don't work out so well.
Im tempted to text my XW and tell her I miss her. But I know that the alien that has control of her body and mind is no longer the woman I love. Somebody please smack me with a 2x4 before I do this please!
My B-day is coming up in a few days. It will be interesting to see if she bothers to even remember it. She totally remembers everybody else and their brothers, even people she barely knows.
On a side note, I read elsewhere on the forum that in the case of going dark on a divorced WAW it might actually be detrimental to be dark on her. Thoughts?
Im trying to be strong and not text her. Guess Ill wait to see if she acknowledges my BD. If not then it will be easy to not text her.
OK Never mind. I just reminded myself that saying this to her would make me look weak and needy. That did the trick! One self inflicted 2x4 bashing works wonders sometimes.
Last edited by g450; 04/13/1004:38 AM.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
IF he's still in love mode and she's in single or "I'm with someone else mode", its not going to be good for him. Has nothing to do with strength, its a completely different way of thinking and associating to the person.
Most of us are thrown from a loop, where we essentially have to treat our spouse as if they are a co-worker who doesn't necessarily like us, and will damage us.
