FM, I have not been focusing at all on thought-stopping when it comes to my H. I am actually thinking of him more than ever.
IMO - Thought stopping is one of key tools we need to use to get through this stuff. If we do not we end up spending our days and night thinking about our spouses, which really is not where our energies should be spent. How about this DU - why not try and thought stop at least twice a day. See how you feel and if it works expand it to as often as possible. Just realize that this is something that you will need to work on.
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He has indicated through text messages and emails recently over the last few days that he is (1) very confused, (2) not happy spending time with others, and (3) that he has missed me "on occasion".
All positives... all positives... you need to accept the positives and accept that right now he is confused. You may not believe it but this is much better than having him continue to say the D word.
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I guess I am feeling defeated, I am tired, and feel that my H will never return or be willing to try again.
D - if you detach you will feel better. if you thought stop you will feel better, if you change your thoughts from negative to positive you will feel better, if you FINALLY pick up that puppy you will feel better, if you spend more time on the treadmill or on a track running you will feel better, if you focus on yourself you will feel better... So what do you think you can do to feel better? Or you could do ONE thing to feel worst, which is focus on your H right now, which one will you choose.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
