"I see a lot of "rescuing" behavior in your recounting of the MC session, how you jumped to your wife's defense repeatedly. I think you are, like me, generally a "rescuer/pleaser" type, and those CAN be good qualities, if kept in check, but they can also be self-destructive and real attraction-killers if you take them too far. "
In my opinion you can crank these all the way up with the appropriate and deserving mate. Its a mutualy benefitial thing, meaning they should do the same for you.
The case with these WAS, is they are pushing their limits in learning how far they can get over on us. Each affair, each lie, each deception builds confidence in this realm.
