I cannot even fathom talking to my wife for FOUR HOURS while she is cheating on me.
Doing the "gay boyfriend" thing doesn't work, Ken. She's losing more respect for you when you do this (if you don't believe me, ask Sandi how a woman responds to this kind of "Nice Guy" stance).
I see a lot of "rescuing" behavior in your recounting of the MC session, how you jumped to your wife's defense repeatedly. I think you are, like me, generally a "rescuer/pleaser" type, and those CAN be good qualities, if kept in check, but they can also be self-destructive and real attraction-killers if you take them too far.
I told my wife, who was also upset about how our D-then-18 was distraught over her affair, that "you don't get to tell the kids how they get to feel about your decision."
