Faith without works... (my new thread)

[james217]

Yesterday on Sunday we went out to eat and then to a nice hotel. She wanted to ML but I was hesitant (due to the infidelity and herpes).


She had given full custody of SD8 to paternal grandmother. I almost walked out of the hotel. She still says she’s a bad mother and SD8 needs to be with paternal grandmother. I ask her if she’s going to IC yet and she sas no. I shake my head. We watch tv and cuddle til we fall asleep.

She calls and texts but I don’t answer. I pretend to not get them and text her stating oh you can’t call?

Maybe it's just me but I see a bazillion contradictions and inconsistencies...why exactly did your 'date' involve a hotel? Esp if you didn't want to be intimate (and rightly so btw)...

You were upset over a major custody issue and then just let it go to cuddle and fall asleep? And yes it is good not to have angry outbursts but at some point there will have to be another solution besides walking away during a disagreement...

Finally if she called and texted, and you ignored them, then why text her asking why she can't call you? I am confused...

Well since I'm living with my parents it's hard for us to have any privacy so after we ate we went to the hotel room instead of hopping on the bus and going to her place. I don't think she's ready to invite me there yet. I know where she is and she knows it but i'm not pushing that. We just needed some privacy to talk about issues.

I walked away after telling her I needed to go outside and think. Room was also smoke free so I had to sit outside and although she used to smoke she's trying to quit so I respected that.

I also wanted to 180. Usually I would blow my stack and get very mad. In IC counseling I was told to remove myself. I was going to leave and go home and let her stay there and then call her later. She convinced me to stay.

She started crying about the entire situation so after I calmed down she asked me to hold her and so I did.

I didn't answer the texts because I didn't want to seem too available. Plus I was still upset about the custody thing when I had thought it over some more.

So I made it seem like I had been busy and never got the texts and calls. Because usually I'd immediately reply or call or answer every call like a sick little puppy. She called me last night and I was sleep. I have not heard from her today.

we did talk some about the child custody issue over lunch but she said we could talk about it later because she was getting upset andn did not want to lose her temper in public or start raising her voice.

I want her to keep pursueing me and keep some form of mystery. If I just keep answering the phone and responding to her texts every single time then she knows i'm just sitting right there waiting for her.

It seems like ive gotten more of a positive response when I'm somewhat distant don't text and call alot. Don't just answer all her calls and texts and make it seem like I didn't just have time for her right then and there and wasn't waiting on her hand and foot