Well I should follow my gut more often. You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something is not right. She has being chatting and emailing her former lover. I cant stand by and act as if. A pretend marriage is not a marriage at all. Even though she is 800 miles away from this guy she is in love with him. I told her I can live this way. She has to make a decision Him or me, because its fair to any of us for this to continue. I am at a point in my life where I can stay married or I can be single and I will be just fine. There are plenty of woman out there that want what I have to offer and if she cant see what I have to offer her, then its her loss. One that she will regret forever.. maybe.. I am preparing myself for her to leave. I dont think she will stay past this weekend. I dont know where she will go, we only have my vehicle at the moment. I guess he can fly out here and pack her and the kids up and move her into his home. Gee wonder how long that relationship will last once you put the added stress of the kids into it. I believe that a major attraction to the om is the fact that the kids werent part of it. He doesnt have any. She didnt have to worry about our kids because I was at home watching them. Hell at one point she was ready to just drop her kids from her first marriage with her ex and our son with me and run to him. But that was months ago. Seems like years ago since she was like that. She told me this morning she feels like she is in a prison and she wants to be free. So be free. Run away. Run from your problems instead of facing them. She suffers from bulemia. I have tried to support her. But she is just so far gone into it, I just dont know what to do. She wont get help for it. I think because she is embarrassed to have to confess to someone about it. Doesnt want to face the truth. Thats why she wont go to the dentist because her teeth will tell the answers to what she is doing. I half expect to find her some night after dinner in the bathroom in a puddle of blood after rupturing something. We have a lot of problems but she wont seek out help. Its easier to run and hide from the problems. She is such a beautiful woman, all she can do is tell me how fat she is and dispute what I have to say about how she looks.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
