I'm in a bad place, you're right. Same place most everyone else was in at one time or another. I really hoped it wouldn't come to this. I know she has seen the changes. I know there is still room for improvement. She just goes back and forth and I keep spinnig around in a circle. How am I supposed to tell what works if it works for a while and then it just stops for no apparent reason? Things will be going good-relatively speaking-and then back to the crap.
I know Rob and PDT and others have said to expect the shi# storm and I kind of did expect it. When she came home, I didn't mention anything about OM, if he was there or anything. Just that she should have called and it was disrespectful that, given all we're going through, she didn't have any thoughts for my feelings at all. She could have called or txt. I still would have been mad, but maybe wouldn't have said anything. So I guess it's good that she didn't because I guess something had to be said.
Here comes the optimist in me: could her reaction be a good thing? Is she testing me to see what I will do next, if I will carry through on anything? And again, should I tell her about going to see the L or keep it under my hat? I'm not planning on filing just yet, of course. Just to get info. Like future said, I can always change direction if things change.
If this is somewhat of an advantage, help me use it to the fullest!
Sorry for all the questions today. Again, I am really scared and hurting and need to get it out of my system by the time I get home.
