Holy crap OT and Puppy smile I wish I had time to weigh in on the commentary between you two but alas, I do not. Quick update.

Sorry I have been MIA for a few days. Been spending a lot of time with W, per her request. As for OM, and my subsequent behavior towards the sitch, well, maybe good news and bad.

First of all, I think, I really do, that I had my last "blow up" episode this weekend. Of course if you're going to do something for the last time, might as well do it well smile I had to work late on Saturday and despite her claims to the contrary, W saw OM for dinner. She said she was not going out but since the boys were both sleeping over with friends (that's never happened before and honestly a coincidence, nothing W could have planned) I figured she was going to go out. Funny thing is that she was home when I got home, something that's not happened since all this happened. Usually her M.O. is to stay out late. Anyway, I blew up. Sorry. Jack, OT, I am not proud of what I did. I didn't do it from a thoughtful place. I did it out of pure emotion.

We fought for awhile, her claiming over and over again that there was no affair, nothing for me to worry about, etc.

Funny though that we both managed to calm down and actually "started over" later and spent the rest of the night together.

I honestly don't know what to think. What I kept asking her was why all the clandestine activity if this was all innocent. Why won't this guy meet me if he has no ulterior motives? She said he was scared of me. She said there is NOTHING romantic about it. I said "not now maybe" and she admitted that she understands why I would be concerned.

I told her beyond everything else, I cannot accept the deception and if it continued it would eventually destroy our marriage. I told her that if nothing else, that had to stop, now. She said she understood where I was coming from but that she was that way because of how I "always" act, and have acted with friends of hers. We've covered that earlier in the thread. Some validity to that point but in the end, and even the next day when we spend some great time with the kids, and then yesterday when we went to lunch together, I reiterated my stance on the no secrecy thing. I am not totally sure she's on board but she seemed to indicate she is. For now, and since either OM has gone WAY underground or is MIA, I am going to cool off on all that.

So, bad news, I lost my cool. Good news is that I think I may have started the foundation for my new boundaries.

Oh, and we also talked at length yesterday about what her "issues" are in general. Her idea, not mine. She used the term "mid life crisis" but in the sense that she wants to make something happen in our life. She wants to move back to Europe and is depressed living here. It's something we've always talked about, and wanted to do, but never really followed through on. I told her I was game but needed solid finances and a solid marriage before thinking about that. She got excited and told me that if we started working towards that goal, she thought a lot would change for the better. Scapegoat, probably but I actually believe her. When we met she was basically bound for France and ended up marrying me, having kids and living here for 12 years. She's a VERY Eruocentric person who really has always missed that lifestyle so I know it's important to her. I always wanted to try living abroad too, and we think the kids would really benefit from it so... we committed to doing the research and go from there. I felt it was really positive.

Since W seems to want me around so much lately, I may not stop in as much.

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