The countdown continues

[Awoken]

So OM has a W that has had multiple A's????
You would think that HE would be overly sensitive to someone else's M?

So true, that's exactly what I thought. He has two small children as well. On one hand I feel like my failures in our M left my W vulnerable to this guy, but then I know she has made her own choices.

It did help to understand why OM's W was so crazy. I admit her response completely startled me!

[Awoken]

((((luvless))))

thank you, and right back to you.

[Awoken]

This one is a great opportunity for a truth dart regarding the fact that you ARE still very much M.

I thought my response was pretty good. I told her that I wouldn't accept that kind of behavior from a friend of 18 years, much less from my wife. It's all BS anyway, I know they were busy before she filed for divorce, and I told her so.

Even better, I told her CALMLY.

It's gonna weigh on her; she ended her first M the same way, and had an affair during the first year of our M. Honestly, I shouldn't have expected her to handle this any different, right?

[Awoken]

Script. Fog. Guilt assuaging BS! Not married? Shameless.

Yes! and transparently so. Sadly, she knows this and I know the guilt will be a heavy thing for her. However, she will just discard it.

Truthfully, I've always known she had this kind of selfishness in her. Maybe that was a contributing part of my own failures in the M, refusing to deal with the truth of our situation.

[Awoken]

Last night really felt like my first night of true separation, and it was sadder than I thought. I know so many here have gone through it. W texted this morning and asked "permission" to drop by the house today while I was at work to start packing. She is going to work extra hard to avoid seeing me in person. I imagine the next time I see her will be at the divorce hearing.

It's still odd to me: She appears to be angrier that I called her out on her betrayal, than I am.

Since finding out last week, I've really backtracked on my GAL activities. I need to get focused. Even though I think I know what I need to do, I'd appreciate any advice, especially from others here that have been through this step.

[flowmom]

The separation was so hard for me Awoken. hugs to you. It's a very difficult milestone.

The things that helped me the most were having my sister do a phone check-in with me every day, having a friend just let me cry with her, and watching light DVDs. I know, not really GAL stuff, but I was too much in shock at the time.

[Gardener]

It's still odd to me: She appears to be angrier that I called her out on her betrayal, than I am.

Of course she is! You busted her (and her fog bubble)!

[FindingMyVoice]

(((Awoken)))
Just checking in to see how you're doing.

[Awoken]

Hi PG, I'm doing ok. Having her out of the house feels so final. It's both a relief and deeply saddening. My boy (S14!) is trying to act as everything is just fine. He confided in D17 that he was coping by "pretending" like everything was normal.

It's not the best time, since I'm at my busiest right now. I figure in May I'll redecorate the entire house, and get rid of a lot of reminders.

[Awoken]

Update:

Yesterday afternoon I got the counteroffer from my W's lawyer. She is basically accepting all my terms, with just a few compromises. It sounds like she is out of money and just wants to get away from me as soon as possible. I texted her wed morning saying I needed to see the counter offer before she took anything else from the house, and she told me her lawyer was about to send it, and then commented that her lawyer thought she was giving everything away.

So be it.

The only odd thing is that they wasted ink on an entire paragraph denying that she's had a relationship with the om. Then stated it didn't matter anyway. It's odd because she's basically admitted it to me. I don't understand why they are bothering with the denial at this point. I suppose if I had exposed it sooner things may be different, but right now I think it is at least driving the D settlement my way. Again, not really the outcome I wanted.

She moves the rest of her stuff out on Saturday. We will be doing 50/50 physical custody of the kids. We are still negotiating the pets. I'm sure there is still a lot of details left to deal with.

I suppose I need to move to "surving the big d", but I like my friends here at newcomers. Really, I still feel like a newcomer. It's only been 5 months. Ha, I remember when I thought 5 months would be an eternity!