G, even lifting a toothbrush feels like it weighs 70lbs. I somehow managed to drive to work this morning but I don't really have any energy to do anything. Distraction only works for a few seconds and then I think about how one huge part of my life is ending and how can I possibly not think about it and the cycle repeats.
DD called me last night and I tried to be as upbeat as I could and I think I pulled it off. She missed me tons, she kept saying she didn't want me to go yet and kept talking and then got sad saying she really really really wanted to see me today. I told her maybe if mommy's OK so she asked and she said 'we'll see' which usually means 'no way in hell'. So I told DD I'll see her the next day and she can call me whenever she wants. She kept saying pleaseeee pleaseeee - poor thing!
I haven't heard back from W about tomorrow as to where she wants to meet for her b.day. I want to tell her so many things, offer Retrovaille etc but I think it's time that we got a D. Mostly because of some F'd up CA laws - if you're married 10+years you're really screwed. We've been married 9 and even if she comes back (I know she won't) who knows when she'll take off again.
I still think we should at least talk about the division of assets outside of the lawyers, courts etc but I don't know about that either...
Sucks so bad it's the person I lived with for so long and now I don't even know her anymore.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
