here I am and thankful the pants traveled!

[Babygirl]

Ok so I have stayed away from here for quite a while. In fact away from almost every person assosiated with the boards, not because I dont love and miss my friends, or worry about what was going on with your lives, but because it was time for baby girl to save baby girl.

When he walked out the door that time in Feb....well, I had given so much to him and saving us, the DBing, the love daring, it literally almost killed me. I actually beleive now people can die of broken hearts. I developed horrible heart problems.....and realized I could literally die at any moment. what was I gonna choose? So I backed away from here, needing to find myself, in a way that was just mine. I realized I had to just let him go........I survived seeing them, I survived them moving to my town.....I slowly got up and started to live, do things........and had I come here, I was afraid that I would be encouraged to keep on the keep on with him, instead of good by and good ridance.....I totally respect everyone here, and realize DB is wonderful, it was just time to close my time of trying to save our marriage. I couldnt go back down most of the DB thinking.....I had to go to live and survive and take care of my kids, and I did everything i could to make us work, it was ok for me to quit thinking.
so I would love to be here.....back with my friends, getting advice, giving advice........but I cant stay if I am going to get bashed for not continuing to fight for that man and our marriage any more.

miss you all so much! will have to fill you in on things, once I know I can be accepted back here under my terms!!
Hugs

[kat727]

You would never get bashed from me. I know you would do all you could but when you are done, well you just are. I have been there myself.

You mentioned on the alt that you are working now. What are you doing? How are the kids? I did see the picture of your one daughter. She is really pretty. How are they adjusting? Let me know when you can.

Thinking of you. kat

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((babygirl)))))

I've always said that DBing was about saving yourself, and if it saved the M that was a nice side effect. By the time you left, it was clear that he was not good for you.

I'm glad to see you back... and sounding good!

[Babygirl]

Kat if you go to the album there is a pic of my oldest too, I need to finish uploading them lol. I didnt have a choice, staying and trying with him would have made me done....literally to the grave. Actually I work for his step dads shop HAHAHAHA! ya isnt that wierd?? I run the office, do estimates, tires you name it thats what i do. The kids are better now, they see him for what he did, and who he is, they rarely see him.

Jeff my dear....I hope the you sound good real soon lol!!!!!

[Babygirl]

I realized after I had an almost completely perfect weekend, how much I am going to love the single life. The bad parts were B related....but when he was verbally attacking me on the phone, something snapped in my head and I politely said, well I found another positive in this life you chose for our family, I dont have to listen to you anymore....and hung up, and turned the phone off.
One thing I can tell you is that its very funny seeing them around, and what little dealings I do have to have with them.. (they moved to MY TOWN UGH) is that they both being cheaters, are so paranoid of eachother all the time, Its hilarious to watch!
Beautiful day here again. Need to get motivated to start on home repairs, that were neglected all the years B was trying to juggle to households......oh well I can do it myself! (ok well maybe lol)

[LolaL]

I don't think anyone is going to bash you. I think there are some who continue to "fight" the good fight, but sometimes, the good fight is in letting go. It can come to a point where you just realize that it is not healthy, i.e. your heart problems, to continue fighting for someone who obviously does not want you too.

So welcome back Darlin'! Good to see ya!

[Babygirl]

When they moved to my town.....and he started taking her to my childrens events...ok the kids were mortified..there was thier mom and dad and dads girlfriend.....within months of him moving out...and my health...it was time. He is frustrated that I dont fight for him, or "need" him or his help....but, I feel so much better with it being all me and all my children. They are so much happier too.

[BobbiJo]

It is so freeing to let go of a weight that is pulling us down, isn't it??? I mean nobody wants to wind up here, but you can only do the heavy lifting for both people for so long!

[kat727]

Too funny that they would think that we are not able to take care of so much on our own. I mean they left(or never did stuff to begin with)who did they think was going to take care of things...the Easter bunny??

My biggest issue with ex now is that he plans additional things and asks the kids before he brings it up to me. then he will spread things to do over a couple of nights but expects me to stay home with the girls so he can do stuff with just the boys. Not a problem if it is my normal time with them, but it is if it is the only night I have to myself all week!!

kat

[Babygirl]

Kat exactly!!! The high school boys pulled together and helped me with wood to get thru the winter. My ex FIL has helped with some electrical probs (i wont go there on my own!!) he also is who I work for, so the car issues are dealt with here, with the only stipulation being B isnt allowed to touch them! I have to replace carpet, and do some plumbin in the girls bathroom, and make some new stairs.
He does that crap with me and the kids also. He tells them we can do this, and well I already have plans, making me feel like the bad guy, TIL 2 weekends ago, my son said to him, I am not going to your house~mom and i have had these plans for weeks, you cant make me see you when its convient with just you. I was so proud of him!!
Last friday I got sent home from work early cause I was sick, only to find out that D17 had let the dog run off, I realized this when I walked into the house, and there was dog puke, and no dog......she lost the dog, and left the puke...(that was not a good talking to she got that nite!) I have a good guy friend, who I called and had him drive and look for my dog, he couldnt find him...so we were sitting on the couch talking- b knocks walks in the door....eyes wide open. stutters out a J....J goes hey B whats up!!! OMG priceless moment!!! later that nite I got a call from his mom, saying B was freaking out cause I had a guy over and he knew him....what was I doing? UH hello news flash, my house, my life, I can have a friend over, guy or girl, you did leave us, you do live with her.......hahahaha. THAT was my priceless happy moment.....and if he ever asks me about it, I am not gonna tell him a thing hehehe!