WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

Hi all,

Thanks for the positives.. I really need them today..

The title issue is due to money mom owes to a company. They want on title in place of her name until the amount is repaid to them. Because of the nature of their organization it is within their rights to do so. She waited until she received the notice from them to let me know she's 1 year behind in the payments she was making!!! If she had let me know the numerous times I asked how it was going, I would have been able to help her catch up and the letter would never have come about.

The problem is, if H takes me to court wanting to sell the house, the organization will be all for it to release their cash if they are on title. Plus if they go on title he has to be officially notified of that fact.

I left the bill up to her to pay without micromanaging because I wanted to be less controlling and it was her bill to pay (and it was the ONLY bill she had to pay). At that point it had nothing to do with me. Now it does and a part of me is angry I wasn't more controlling...

This is something that I would have been able to find comfort and support from the old H about.. and now I can't.. and it's something she and I will have to figure out on our own..if we can...

I'm so tired of having to deal with all this alone.. but it may be the way it will be forever.. and that hurts...

My confidence in dealing with things is at a low... My peace feels non-existent...

I'm having serious anger issues about the lack of control I feel in my life at the moment...

I have visions of doing all sorts of things to ruin OW reputation with her peers... With doing all sorts of things that I know will actually push H farther away... With calling CAS on the fact that the kids don't have their own beds when they visit H and share beds with their cousins. And that their clothes smell of smoke when they've grown up in a smoke free home. I wish I could force him to have to move out from the enabling SIL house in some way... to hasten his hit to bottom.. I'm even starting to doubt the MLC thing right now... wondering if I'm just fooling myself again..

I'm struggling to not focus on the despair I feel about OW and trying to remind myself that I am the prize but it feels hollow right now..

My daughter and son were even more clingy than usual last night and it hurt like heck to hold it together for them.

I'm so close to tears today and I can't let loose because I'm at work and life must go on..

I feel like crawling under a desk and staying there...