Is this piecing?

[flowmom]

H4L, you have not let us down. You know who you have let down -- it's yourself. You have to change the situation so that it's not convenient for him to be verbally and emotionally abusive to you. You must protect yourself from the spewing. I think you should welcome and encourage him to stop staying overnight...it puts you in a vulnerable situation where you are the ever-ready emotional punching bag. Don't kid yourself that it's OK to tolerate that in the name of your S's well being. You don't have to decide anything about your M today. All you have to do today is decide how you're going to take care of yourself and your S. Imagine yourself as your own mother -- how would mother H4L take care of you in this painful situation...what would she advise you? You need to access your inner wisdom and nurturing side. You need to be on your own side.

This is a very difficult situation and until you make changes, you'll continue to be hurt over and over again.

Sending you big hugs...