In a nutshell, what is "replay" and "touch and go"?
Also, I get that 'hiding in the tunnel' means that my wife is hiding behind the emotional 'wall' equivalent of Fort Knox. When some here speak of the MLC spouse 'peeking out of the tunnel', What is this reference about? Could it refer to her possibly reaching out for help - to me, friends, etc...? If so, what might be some behaviors, indicators that she is doing so? On the other hand, could 'peeking out of the tunnel' be an admission of responsibility or some sorts? Or, is it something else that I'm missing altogether?
"Sorting the garbage is an exhausting task, as the "spewing" contains truth within the lies that are told..."
Hey Hearts Blessing, I don't think my wife even believes her own lies half the time. Two weeks before the '911 incident' my wife made 'family' plans to take the kids to a community easter egg hunt. She seemed pretty excited about it. I felt she was somewhat coming out of her shell, so to speak. (peeking out of the tunnel?) On Easter Sunday (the day when she threatened to call 911), I had plans to take our two kids to a park to play, ride bikes, and just have fun. In her agitated state, my wife makes this comment along the lines of, "I don't even know why you want to take the kids anywhere today. Easter is not even their holiday. They're not Catholic."
Sorting through the garbage is a big understatement when it comes to coping with her extreme mood swings, and trying to make sense of things. When 'up is up' one day, but 'up is down' in the next breath, it's no fun.
I have another question. In my original thread, I mentioned my wife being involved in an emotional affair with a guy from China, who she briefly dated in high school about 22 years ago. Until last July, my wife and DJ (that's what I call him) literally had not had any contact in that entire time. As we live in Virginia and goofball lives in China, the ONLY contact they have had this entire time is phone calls, chat, and e-mail.
Fast forward about 5-6 months into the EA. I'm snooping her e-mails. I discover one e-mail where DJ suddenly divorces his wife, sends pictures of his divorce papers to my wife by e-mail, and professes them 'soul mates' and the idiot proclaims "Freedom must pay a price."
A few things really get to me about this nonsense.
1) MLC or not, how in the world does someone get so caught in a mess like this that they actually believe it?
2) If DJ literally up and out of the blue divorced his own wife, and 'proved' his love for MY wife by sending her pictures of divorce papers, what does that say about his own mental state?
3) My wife has a Window Messenger profile, and DJ is still one of her contacts. A few days ago I opened his profile. It's 'private' except for a few details. The one that really got to me was the one where you post your relationship status. DJ currently lists himself as "In a relationship" (post-idiot divorce), whereas a few months ago he listed himself as single (pre-idiot divorce). I'm trying not speculate too much about what "In a relationship" means to him. However, if he thinks in his mind he is in a relationship with my wife, from across the deep blue sea, literally 12,000 miles away, with zero shared memories or real experiences between them in 22+ years, what does THAT say about his mental state?!
Jeeezzz. What a big mess... At this point in time, I feel a lot of empathy for my wife. I sense that she realizes the deep hole she has dug, and can't climb her own way out [yet]. I am normally a very intuitive person. I missed the boat big time when the EA was first unfolding. But, right now my gut tells me my wife is hiding in the tunnel more out of shame than anything else.
A little over a week ago my wife is threatening to call 911 on me.
Last night she calls 'just to say hi and to tell you that your daughter wasn't in the mood to eat her dinner tonight.'
