MMF, I'm so sorry you are feeling so horribly down and torn. It's a very fine line between being the person you want to be and making sure that you are the person that everyone around you can relate to. The way your family relates to you now is directly influenced by the way they related in the past.

I'm not sure if that makes any sense. It does in my own head and that is a seriously messed up place still! smile I'm not good with advice, but I can offer you my support and sympathy.

As far as what the kids are saying, please know that you will need to take it with a grain of salt. They are TEENAGERS! They are going to push boundaries because they want to feel that they are making their own decisions without parental influence. Is it possible that they are staying more with your xw than you because she lets them do whatever they want and you are a more strict parent? I can tell you from experience that my son never stayed with his dad because he was always harping on him, and just generally being on top of him. I'm more laid back. I'm strict with the important things, but not so much with the day to day stuff.

Do you see anything in your parenting style that might be causing them to rebel as typical teenagers?

Just spitballing ideas.

One more question for you. What are you doing for yourself? What activities do you have planned for you?

T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!