Lea, I am so sorry. If you go back and read my thread, I had a really bad argument with W. Afterwards, I felt like you, no need to continue coming to this site, I thanked everyone and gave my goodbyes. I was SURE it was over, 4 months later, we are still M, the process continues on and my faith has been renewed.
Your M is not over, you have done damaged, but it's not over!! I can not stressed enough how important it is for you to detach and go into NC. Where would things be without your outbursts?
I know you want to protect your sons. Your H knows your feelings on this matter, yet he continues. The boys will be ok, she can NEVER replace you in their lives, NEVER! Yes, it may look like your H loves OW, but she is just a mask for his pain, the actions he has taken.
What do you do now? Let me ask you this, do you want to save your marriage and yourself? Was this conflict your fault? Then I suggest you call him, stay in control, and apologize. Offer no explanation cause he knows why you said what you said. Just give a sincere apology and end the conversation. This is for YOU, not him. Afterwards go into NC and stay there. Understand that he is in pain too and needs your outbursts to justify his actions. Force him to carry this D alone and get no ammunition from you.
I am still with you and your family says the LORD. Don't give up, trust HIM!
