Hey, OTMT,
Super tired will read more tomorrow
Briefly looked this over and am totally seeing your point here.
My hubby has some of those issues also with not living under "threats" etc. Ironically I was the one talking about S and D originally at first. How funny it like the same path almost in a way. OK, a little bit similar.

I think it's her fear talking

OK, exhausted. Will type more tomorrow.
Glad to see you...

M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)