still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[newmama]

ok WH was near. I feel like I might be forgetting something but this is the rest that I can remember:

So then I said "you said you were worried about getting back to where we were. Well I know we can because we have a bond-which is why we can't let go of each other. We knew what we were doing when we married each other. I don't want to get back to where we were, I want it to be better and I have ideas for that. We would have the support of our friends and family because everyone knows we did the right thing by marrying each other.

However, if you do decide to divorce, then I have plans for my future. So that's what I wanted to say."

Then he said "ok." and was quiet. My gut told me not to press him so I said "you don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know my thoughts." and changed the subject to S' dr. appointment.

That was the last time we have discussed anything and the last time he said anything.

NOW there was something he said that Thursday night which was reminding me of how we are separated- SEPARATED. That rings in my brain because now I think I am ready to date!!!

I am still waiting to reinforce the change in how we do visitation. I think I am going to wait until he brings up his decision to D. When he says he is going to do it, I will say

"OK, from this day forward, you drop off and pick up S. We need to be acting like regular divorced parents.

And I want to stay in the house for the next year.

And no more texting for check ins- if he has a problem, I trust you will let me know and you can trust that I will let you know!

I looked at the parenting plan again and saw that there were some errors, so I'd like to show you my revision based on the recommendations of the court"

I also researched all of the steps involved in divorce in my county and just seeing them (there are like 15) helped me to relieve my anxiety. The suckiest part of the steps is the 4 week long parenting class. Which WH asked me (when he brought it up on 3/25)if we could go together and which I replied HELL NO! We will be acquaintances after this, only exchanging necessary info for S. I could not bear to go to those classes with you!"