My W and I have been discussing our sitch recently, including the job/income stuff. She is willing to consider getting back together at some point, but says needs to see changes in these areas first.
She called me about some information she needed in filling out additional divorce paperwork. I asked her if she was set on that or if she was ready to talk and see where we both stood. Said she was pretty set, but willing to talk. We talked and I asked her how she felt about several issues, including her job and my job, future goals, and other things.
I asked a lot of questions, but our talk was also conversational. She said that what I had to say was good, but I needed to actually make it happen. She said if I can make it happen (job stability, income, taking responsibility) then she would be open to discussing "us" again, but not until those things happen.
In the first week of my sitch I sucsessfuly proved to my wife that I was willing to make changes. She told me that she was holding off on calling a lawyer and that she needed to think. I kept on doing home improvements, being a better dad, etc. then wife told me after 4 days that she was not changing her mind.
She called her lawyer and never looked back. After I told her that I was able to change she said. "I dont think anyone can change, especially after only a week." Then I got the "it's not you it's me." speech. I want my life back, blah blah blah. Other man was heavy on the mind I guess.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Fortunately, I am not dealing with OM (or at least there has been no evidence of it in 4 mos). Once in a while, I drop by her place randomly and she always lets me right in. We typically talk 2 or 3 times per week.
I know the main change my W is looking for....my job. There are a couple of other things, too, but job is the big one. Said she has just felt for too long like I did not step up.
She said she is willing to see if that will change now, but it will be from a distance in case it doesn't.
I went to the house tonight to pick up the tax documents and some other things and w seemed to be in a good mood. She says, "here is your mail and oh yeah, I talked to my lawyer and she said that we could have the final declaration ready by friday." I just nodded ok. She STILL has no emotion at all over this whole thing. Everything is just business. I think that is the end folks...
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
We did all go on a nice walk as a family(well, all together anyways) with D8 on her bike and D2 in her push car. Wife showed some interest in my life as we talked while walking. On the way back D2 was walking holding wife's hand and grabbed my hand too. The both of us, Wife and I, walking our D2. It was so sad because I could tell what it meant to D2. She saw that I had a "boo boo" on my hand and wanted wife to kiss it! lol
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
