Had appt with L last week. She was interested in the details so that was the majority of my appt. She didn't give much advice although she is supposed to be the best around. He was out of town all weekend with a guy friend supposedly. He came back for our daughter's bday party. The party went ok. My F and one of my brothers refused to come stating that it was for the best. I was told by his sister today that I acted perfectly (like I was hurting but hid it gracefully and was pleasant to everyone) just as I had on Easter. This morning I had to call him because I needed him to tell the phone company that they needed to talk to me about our phones not working and to ask for money. The accounts were in the negative, I've not found a job, and bills are about to be drafted. That led into him telling me that I needed to listen to him and sell our house. He fussed that I shouldn't have let our son try out for football because now he's on a team at a school he may not be attending next year after the house is sold. He told me again that I need to move on with my life, forget ever working on our marriage, that anything that crosses my mind as a possible reason for him doing this should be considered as reason because it's everything. He says if I help him by agreeing to sell and getting a job, he'll help me by giving me money to live. Other mean stuff, etc., etc. He did deposit money into our joint account.
At practice, I asked if he had a nut driver because my skid plate had come loose and was hanging on by one bolt. Apparently when I tried to explain what I needed a tool for, I was speaking too much and he rolled his eyes. Instead if saying what happened, I just said "My skid plate is hanging and I need to remove one bolt, ok." Then I walked off. When I looked his way, he was giving me a look. I walked over, said "you oughtta know that I'm nervous saying hello much less asking for anything so you could take that into consideration instead of getting ticked when I rarely speak." He responded with "so can I sell the house?" Nothing more was said after that.
I called the L today to ask if it would hurt me if I agreed to sell. She advised me to call his bluff and the next time he asked tell him that if he wants a divorce to file and if he wants to sell the house out from under me to give it a try. She said not to agree on his word that he'll give me money to live elsewhere because there's been no papers filed saying that he has to do so. My children, three dogs, and I cannot share two bedrooms at my parents and so we'd have nowhere to go. She also said that if it sold, he could find a place before me, not give me money and use his having a residence to fight for custody.
My father and brothers are dying for me and my kids and don't trust my H at all. They want me to file if for no other reason but to protect myself. I agree but also feel that if I do, the two family members of his that do want to fight for my marriage would not.
Should I ask the L if she uses a mediator?
Soliel, as for an IC, I have no money. I'm not sure how much my priest can help but I do want to go talk to him.
Should I call his bluff and tell him to file? He says he will file and do whatever it takes to force me out of the house when he finds the time and money.
