Perhaps I'm on the cusp of really knowing what I want. Well, rather feeling what I want. I don't want this woman complicating my life anymore.
The beauty of reaching such a point is that you finally begin making choices for honest reasons.
Your wife is still making choices out of fear. That's why you get so much of the push and pull from her. She's afraid to let go completely - she's afraid to recommit completely. The end result is that she is effectively paralyzed and finds herself unable to make any real progress in herself.
As long as you agree to continue this dance with her, you also struggle with paralysis.
Sometimes all it takes to break free from a stuck position is a change in the environment.
Moving forward, if that is where your heart and mind take you, does not put a final nail in the coffin of your relationship with this woman. As with so many of us with children, a tie remains.
It does seem to me that in many of the stories on this board, it is often a true and complete separation that finally allows the walking away spouse the space they need to be forced into dealing with their issues.
The irony is that often this separation leads the left behind spouse to reevaluate to the point that they find themselves more and more distanced from the relationship.
I personally think you are reaching a good point Bill, and you should follow what your instincts tell you is healthy for you and your boys.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
