She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[Surviving03]

We definitly will! Keep your head up... you have the right idea in your last post.. keep that frame of mind, its exactly what you need to deal with this.

[peace2u]

I agree with Surviving03...focus on the task at hand(your D.)

Safe travels and sending good thoughts your way!

[steady]

My W doesn't know how to accept blame for anything she's doing. She keeps pointing fingers at me or everyone else. the only people that believe her are the ones that only have her side of the story and don't really know me. She's obviously feeding her C a load of crap as well.

My W has been doing the same thing since the bomb dropped. I get the blame for absolutely everything. She has convinced her family and friends I am the spawn of Satan. It's just crazy.

Understand this is only a reflection of who she is and has nothing to do with you.

I know things are pressing in tightly. They have gone very tight in my sitch too ans sometimes is hard to keep your head above water. You're doing well so keep it up.

There's nothing I can say right now which isn't a repeat of something said already.

Keep your chin up.

[mudpuppy]

Well it looks like the end of my M is almost here. My W just gave me a copy od the D papers to look over. Said she wanted me to look them over and then wanted to set a date with her attorney to sign them and get them filed. If she gets her way it will all be over in a little over 1 month. She is basically trying to get everything. She even wants me to sign over the house to her without her paying me 1/2 of the equity. Said that she couldn't afford it now. But when she sells the house in a couple of years she would give it to me then. Has she lost her damn mind or what.

M 48
W 44
M 24 yrs
D 19
D 12
Bomb dropped 3/8/10
M t rying to figure out what the truck looked liked that just ran over my a**

[tbart01]

If it wasn't for bad luck these days I wouldn't have any. Who would have thought that I'd get to Kyrgyzstan and there govmt would get overthrown.

I'm stuck here for a few days longer. yes I'm out of Afghanistan, but I'm still stuck and not going home.

My D is home from juvy, but my W said she wants t talk to me about my D pessimistic attitude before I get home.

I hope I get to go home soon, and that my W has the same priority as I do, my D. The M issues can take a back seat for now, but she is selfish these days.

[tbart01]

What are the odds that the day i get to Kyrgyzstan there govmnt gets overthrown. I'm stuck here for the time being until i can get a flight home.

Talked to my w today and she's still stuck in her selfish world. My daughter is out of Juvy and my W still wants to pick me up and drop me off and leave. I thought she would actually make my D the priority, my mistake.

when she said she wanted to make me dinner, she meant it would be ready in the crock pot for me. However, the house is clean and the sheets on the bed are clean. Wasn't that sweet of her to clean the house and give me clean sheets?

She really enjoyed our last convo, likes the changes, but still needs to drop and roll when I get home. you'd think I just spent 6 months in a combat zone and she might like to see me some.

Oh well, I'll just keep plugging away at MY life, and take care of my daughters.

[steady]

tbart,

I know how hard it is to be going through what you are. Papers are only papers. That's it.

If you look at it nothing has changed. I know this doesn't make sense because it seems like it's moving faster than you had expected. But you're position is still the same - you have no idea what the future holds for you. Your W is still on the same path as she has been. But believe me, she's emotionally moving around also.

She's trying to push this thing through as fast as she can because she's running on impulse energy. She's built up a head of steam in this direction and she's pushing it. My W did the same thing. Less than a week after she told me she wanted a D she had an appraiser as the house. It's now 15 months later and we still have the house. She did this in many areas.

DO NOT GIVE HER EVERYTHING! My initial response was to be nice and to roll over and give my W what she wanted in the hopes of being a nice guy would help my chances to reconcile. My family did a great job of convincing me to fight for my children and my rights.

I'm not sure how the laws are in your state, but you must go see a lawyer and find out what's legally yours.

As far as her paying you down the road for half the house - if you end up agreeing to this make sure it's done legally and on paper, with a lawyer.

Question - Why does she get the house? Why not you? How about you keep the house and you pay her half later on down the road? My W thought I would be out of the house by that Easter, she would get the house, she would get the kids, I'd pay her full child support, she would keep the kids, and she actually offered me every other weekend and one overnight a week..maybe an after school also. How generous of her...lol.

They turn into nutballs wanting everything as if you owe it to them.

I can't stress this enough - GET LEGAL COUNCIL. No if ands or buts - PERIOD. You'll be glad you did.

[tbart01]

Steady I know it's just a piece of paper, but it's a little more than that. When you get a legal S it's just like getting a D. Most of the time if the S turns into a D, the terms agreed upon during the S becomes the D agreement.

If that's the case then I will get the house because i make considerably more than her and she couldn't afford the house. we'll have to agree on everything just like were getting D. I'm not sure how much research she's done on it, but I've done plenty.

She say's we'll see how the separation goes in regards to us reconciling. The only problem is with all we have to do for a legal S, it will be hard to turn back or turn things to a M.

Also, as long as I can make it home in time, I have an appointment set up with an attorney next week.

[tbart01]

It seems like I'll never be going home. Now there moving us from Kyrgyzstan to Kuwait. The civil unrest won't allow them to get us out of here to get home. Oh well that's my luck these days.

called the W to let her know about the change. While we were talking she called me hun (accidental I'm sure), she knows she did it and didn't correct herself. I know it was an accident, but it was good to hear. When I accidentally called her sweetheart a few weeks back i immediately corrected myself.

Hope to get home soon and have some updates for you guys.

[tbart01]

Well I'm finally home, and it's allot harder than i ever imagined. She picked me up at the airport looking absolutely gorgeous. My daughters were there, and my D4 sprinted for me. I grabbed her and held and kissed her forever.

It was wonderful to be with my daughters, but it was hard to watch my W leave. She went into the room with me, gave me a giant hug and told me it was really nice to see me, and then she left. I told her she looked really good, and she should have not looked so good to come pick me up.

It's so weird being in my house and not having her here. I keep waiting for he garage door to open,and for her to walk in. Everywhere I go in the house it saddens me because I know she's not her.

My D14 is really sad because I'm here and my W isn't. My D4 is confused because my W is gone now that I'm not here.

I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to do this. I know it's only the first day, but it's killing me to be in this house without her. I miss her more now that I've seen her and touched her.

How am I going to do this?