Well, I do know from the few fights we've had before, if I don't seem like I'm willing to play along,she'll turn negative to try and pull me in that way. I'm assuming she's feeling guilty or bad about something, hence the reason why she's trying to stir something up.
So it is a joint car. I would consider this option if you think it's financially viable. Can you reasonably get a decent car with half of the proceeds?
Just thinking that it may be good for her to see what it means to be D. She will have to be responsible to get a driver's license, get a car, pay for her own insurance and gas and if she can't, she has to find another way to get to work in the morning.
If it's unreasonable then don't agree just to give in.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Yeah, I mean, she's made it on her own a lot before we were together. She moved out of her parents house at 18 and never looked back, so it's not like she's totally helpless. I do feel partially responsible for how she is now though. I do know that she has depended on me too much. And I've offered to do too much for her at times. Not in a controlling way, but in a see, I'll do it all for you way. I think it was my way of trying to make up for letting her down on the major things. But, I've thought about maybe trying to show her a little about what us splitting up would mean. I even got in touch with our realtor about getting our house on the market, and when I asked her if she had the payoff info for our agent, she told me to wait on that. But, maybe you're right. I don't plan on giving in just for the sake of it. I told her that I wasn't going to fight with her about this, the wreck and what not, and she stopped texting me. I was planning on making some stops on my way home from work, just to not be there.
Here's a question that maybe one of you wise people can answer. I know that when people have affairs of whatever kind, they go out of their way to hide it, cover all of their tracks, lie, manipulate, anything and everything to keep it under wraps. Should I read anything into the fact that she has more or less done the opposite? Not tried to hide it, not been sneaky or deceptive, didn't seem too surprised last week when I caught her. . .just curious.
What exactly do you want to read into that? Some people do confess when caught. She doesn't have to sneak around because you found out and didn't do anything about it.
Did she say she would stop immediately and wanted to try to work on the M? Anything less means she is continuing to cake eat. And even if she does say that doesn't mean it's what she's doing.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Honestly, I don't know what I want to read into it. No, she didn't say she would stop immediately and try and work on things. Pretty much all she said was that she needed some time to figure things out. And after telling her that I wasn't ok with her doing it or the situation, as in, if she was going to continue this, she needed to go, she just turned defensive, saying she didn't know what to tell me and she wasn't leaving because it was her house too.
Unless you can verify by independent means (not taking her word for it) that she has ended all contact with OM, then you should assume that the A is still going on.
If she refuses to leave the house then it's even more important to cut off all financial support for her A. The longer you tacitly approve the longer she's going to keep it up.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Yeah, I know it hasn't ended, so it just comes down to cutting her off as best I can. I just wanted to add that I've noticed from my investigating, she's really gone full bore into porn and lots of NR rated movies while holed up in her room.
Well, I do know from the few fights we've had before, if I don't seem like I'm willing to play along,she'll turn negative to try and pull me in that way. I'm assuming she's feeling guilty or bad about something, hence the reason why she's trying to stir something up.
They get good at it, their brain makes it real. Its all due to her reationalizing the crap she's doing, and obviously you are to blame. Its convenient. I guess I'm starting to see what the others are saying. She's going to do some crap for a while, but do you have to enable it? Its the same question I need to ask myself.
Honestly, I don't know what I want to read into it. No, she didn't say she would stop immediately and try and work on things. Pretty much all she said was that she needed some time to figure things out. And after telling her that I wasn't ok with her doing it or the situation, as in, if she was going to continue this, she needed to go, she just turned defensive, saying she didn't know what to tell me and she wasn't leaving because it was her house too.
"she said was that she needed some time to figure things out",
These are classic lines from a cakeeather stringing somebody along. It all makes perfect sense to her. Maybe you should record it and play it back to her later.
Hell, maybe you should do some of the same things, take your recording and play it back to her to remind her...