Yeah, I know that I play a large part in all of this. I have done several things to enable her. Once I started really looking at myself, I did see that my lack of a backbone on big issues not only made her less attracted to me, but paved the way for her to know just how much she could get away with. But, at the same time, at this point in my life, I do feel a new sense of empowerment, like I'm not scared of confrontation or upsetting people anymore. But since my word has been so damaged over the years, I know she doesn't take me seriously when I say that I'm not ok with what she's doing and it has to stop. So...
So tell her what the consequences are to crossing your boundaries and then ENFORCE THEM.
Puppy is right. Stop financially enabling her to carry on her A. Turn off the internet access and anything else you pay for: her cell phone, her car, insurance, gas, etc.
By funding her extramarital activities you are condoning them. If I was having an affair and my BF knew about it, told me to stop but did nothing about it and still cuddled me in bed at night of course I wouldn't change anything. Why? When someone can have everything they want they're not going to voluntarily give that up.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
God, you guys are all right. But, considering that I just got a text message from her talking about selling some of our things and splitting the money, I'm not really sure any of this matters at this point. I'm not trying to be defeated, but obviously she has made up her mind and I'm not really sure if anything would change that.
Well, I don't know if you guys saw from an earlier post, but we share a car. We work near enough to each other that carpooling made sense, especially considering she let her drivers license expire and was too lazy and scared to go retest and renew it and technically can't drive anyway. So, she's talking about selling our main car and splitting the money so we can each get our own. I do realize that there's a good chance that she's just testing me. Trying to get me upset about her trying to move things forward and in the process, criticizing me for a wreck in the car, where someone hit me, and making our car worth less money.
Is the car jointly owned? Who's name is on the title? Who makes the payments? If it truly is a jointly owned vehicle then I can see where she's coming from. If you make the payments (vehicle, insurance, gas) then no dice.
In the meantime, cut off all her other means of communicating with OM. She'll have to figure out how to pay for all that stuff too so she may back off the car.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Well, I don't know if you guys saw from an earlier post, but we share a car. We work near enough to each other that carpooling made sense, especially considering she let her drivers license expire and was too lazy and scared to go retest and renew it and technically can't drive anyway. So, she's talking about selling our main car and splitting the money so we can each get our own. I do realize that there's a good chance that she's just testing me. Trying to get me upset about her trying to move things forward and in the process, criticizing me for a wreck in the car, where someone hit me, and making our car worth less money.
"criticizing me for a wreck in the car, where someone hit me, and making our car worth less money."
Thats just the beginning. She may become just a regular old devil to you my man, it happens to alot of us. The one thing to remember, is all women are not like this. There are alot of good ones who will own their own [censored], and yoke up to the load, as well as treat you very well because they really want to.
Well, we came into a decent chunk of money and paid cash for it at the time. We both have always agreed that we equally earned that money. The title is in my name, obviously, since you actually need a drivers license to get the title. Insurance is lumped in with our home insurance, and I have a company gas card, so i mean, technically, I pay for all of the gas, even though it's no money out of my pocket.
