Need a pick me up

[pearlharbr]

Hmm, you sounded very parental and controlling to me.

Please don't misunderstand--I'm not saying W is right. It does sound like she's spoiled and pouting to a degree. And I do think she should be doing more about your financial sitch if it worries her so much.

That said, I think I understand where W is coming from at least partially. I hate being told what to do, always have. I didn't finish half of my required reading in college but I kept the bookes and ended up reading everything eventually. So when you tell W to hold your hand, tell her to sit down, tell her to X, Y, or Z then her first instinct is probably, "No, you can't tell me what to do. I am a grown woman and I will make my own decisions." And then to prove that point she will do the opposite. Not the most mature response but understandable to me.

I get why you want to take over the bill paying. I get that you're struggling financially and are working your butt off to provide for your family. And I totally support setting boundaries and enforcing them. However I don't think the approach you're taking with W is working. Think about telling W you'd like to set aside some time to discuss finances so she has time to think about it and it's truly a conversation, not an ambush of telling her how you're doing everything right and she's doing everything wrong. That way she may not react so defensively.

As always, just my two cents.