Spouse Suffering From Depression

[awest1217]

I completely hear you. I think you also should say something about how he talks to you. It is ok for him to feel abandoned or feel that you aren't there, but it is much different to say he feels you are not there and for him to say you aren't there. One is stated more as an opinion which can be swayed easily based on events where the second is more a fact and has proof behind it. He needs to learn how to communicate his feelings without being rude and you need to make sure you are comfortable to tell him that he is being rude. You can validate by saying you understand that he feels he missed out on a chance, but he should word it better. Also you need to set a boundary with when and how he comes over. If you are ok with a few hours notice then stick to that. Make sure he knows you have to be contacted a few hours (make sure you have a specific time) or a full day before to make plans so you can be sure what happened Sunday doesn't happen again.

Just a few things. I completely understand where you are coming from so just hang in there. He is making progress and things are slowly getting better, but now is the time to set the boundaries so you don't get sucked into a bad R again.