Oh my K, that must have been though to run into the OW. You did a great job explaining the situation to your D. It's not always easy to stay positive and to be objective when it comes to the OP. You don't have to (and I don't) hate her but I certainly don't think much of her character.
You are doing all the right things, you should be proud of yourself.
K - I'm very much "on guard" with my H. He's been in MLC for about 4 years and I already went through one false reconciliation.
It may seem that my situation is progressing fast, but it's been already a year since his affair started. The first 6 months I didn't know about it, but my H was already gone and I felt it, I was fighting a loosing battle, not knowing why his behavior towards me has changed so much and I was trying to turn it around and it just wasn't working.
Once I found out about the affair it all blew to pieces, I cried, begged, pleaded, negotiated....all the wrong things, nothing helped - he left for the first time. Came back month and half later when OW wouldn't leave her H, said all the right things but didn't keep any promises, wouldn't work on R, continued lying and the contact with OW continued throughout his false comeback. I had a very strong gut feeling that it wasn't over.
When she finally decided to leave her H, he left again. He was just waiting for her the whole time. By that time I was DBing, I stopped fighting it and told him that he is free to go.
For the next 3 months they had what they wanted all along. They have left their families and were together...were they happy? No. The fairy-tail "love" started to unravel and they both looked miserable. My guess is that the rose colored glasses came off and the reality had sunk in. OW is back home with her H and my H wants to R.
The way he behaves now feels 100% different from the first time he wanted to come home. It "feels" right. But of course I'm worried. I told him that I still love him, but he has to work out all of his "demons" first. He is definitely in depression. I'm watching and taking it slowly. He may be out of Replay, but he is not done with his MLC. I'm hoping that we can do the rest of that Journey together.
Wishing you all the best, I sure hope that both of us will be successful in saving our marriages, but I also know that we will be OK in any case.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
