The tunnel of darkness

[kjensen]

Hi Mila,
It seems like alot of the people at these classes are in all kinds of places: thinking about separating/divorce, in the middle of getting a divorce, been divorced for awhile and dealing with the aftermath...

I think in a way this class is a nice complement to the divorce-busting model-getting a life, figuring out what went wrong/how you contributed, looking at harmful patterns/polarizations in order to avoid them in the future..looking inwardly rather than externally for help/growth... So..I think even though things are improving with you H, its only going to help YOU by continuing the class and if it helps YOU then it can help the R.

Looking at your time frame of events...be aware its all happening pretty fast for your H to come around and stay.....My H did the same thing after OW dumped him(came home/made an effort)...but 6 months later he filed for divorce even though we were in MC and I thought doing pretty well....

Looking back with a little more persepective-I think my H came home too soon after the OW. I don't think he ever made a formal recomittment to me or really made a good effort in MC with our "homework". I think he still is dealing with guilt and was projecting alot of his shame onto me-as if it was coming from me(which it was not)... He is still very lost in some ways, right now.

So..just remember to take care of YOUrself!