W still wants separation, need to DB more

[OfficerInNeed]

Today:

Turns out my W had won a prize in a raffle from the benefit. I let her know how excited I was for her (in the past I would have cared less). When she returned home we went through the contents of the basket together and had a conversation but how her work day went. I listened, looked her in the eyes and repeated back to her what she told me to validate. She told me things she found funny that someone did or said at work and I smiled and laughed to show her that "yes, that was funny."

I asked my W if she was hungry she responded yes I asked "have anything in mind" she told me and I made it for her. I asked about my FIL GF and if sh received any updates. We had a brief conversation about that. We watched a little TV before she went to bed.

I feel good so far about today. I feel renewed, I have some new tools to work with. Hopefully a new constructive approach. I feel even better at the fact I reacted positive to situations I would have reacted negatively to in the past.

I was asked by the DB coach today "When you two first began, who was OIN then? What was it your W loved about you." I was honest and said "We met young so I cannot say. By the time we both matured and started to take our R to the next step I had already began my ways. All I know, and what I learned over the years up till today, is what my W always wanted me to be." Now it is time (and I have been working toward it for the past few months) to become who my W always wanted me to be.