(Juno here, no idea why they changed my screen name)

boy he is playing some serious mind games with you OR is majorly confused. But that doesn't mean you have to either take part in his game or his confusion, I don't think. Is there any way he could at least get a hotel room temporarily so you're not subjected to this crap? It seems like you're going up and down like a marionette, particularly when he leaves and comes back from these trips. It would be nice for you if you could get a little mental relief and distance from his coming and going. I know that doesn't begin to solve all your problems, but it is one thing you (hopefully) can control- you could email him while he's gone and say either "book a room" or "I've booked a room" at X hotel for you- me and kids need the house to ourselves right now, or something like that...

When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go;
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow;
Go ask Alice...
I think she'll know.