Are there signs?

[ericmsant2]

Wild

I seriously feel like giving up...this fight is wearing me thing and she just seems like she wants to continue being away from me.

First off, how you feel is normal. This stuff is tough buddy. It is really tough. You have to realize that right now she probably does want to be away from you but this does not mean that you will feel this way in the future. You see, you still may be thinking that you can do something to "snap" her out of it. The realty is that you cannot. You can only do things to make it worse. This is why you detach my friend...you detach so that your emotion do not take over your thoughts and mouth.

Although you feel this way...realize that is it a FEELING. You may feel differently tomorrow. If you change your thoughts you can change your feelings.

I guess the grass is really green around her right now.

That is what they all think. It is only when they begin to realize the there issue is there issue and not your or mine or there friend.

I find myself hoping that she will never find happiness and that she will always get screwed over by everyone she ever meets.

This looks like you have hit the anger stage. Once again, normal. You need to find a way to release the anger but you CANNOT release it on HER. Pick up a punching bag, go outside and scream, go for a walk, go to the gym. Take this anger and make it make YOU BETTER and STRONGER so that you can keep going. Just remember buddy - this will pass. The faster you "face" it the faster you will be able to deal and move on from it. Do nothing and it will fester.

I see her and I want her around but when she is around she is always on her phone and smiling like this is the best kept secret around.

You know what I call this? Running. She is running from her issues. She may seem happy and actually may really be happy but at the end of the day she will need to face her issues. When? Only God knows buddy. Your job is to keep focused on you and your kids.

I just don't know how what I did was that bad?

Have you written down a list of the issues that you did bring to the M? Have you figured out what changes you need to make? I mean really change...you have indicated that you were controlling? Other than finances were you controlling? Did you value her input into the things? Did you give her the freedom to make mistakes? Think about buddy.

I know that I can try for a long time but do I want to be wasting my energy when I could be expending it on other things?

If you are making changes to make YOURSELF a better person then what "other things" could you be doing? If you are making changes to get her back then trust me, these will not stick.

I'm just confused and frustrated....

Stop looking at her and her issues and really and I mean really focus on your issues. Once you do, you will not be as confused and fustrated. Right now, you are trying to figure her out - you can't - STOP. You can figure YOU out though. Someone once told me that the answers to my issues are in ME. That person was right...so I tell you - look at YOU. Make this whole ordeal about YOU and YOUR kids. Maybe she will come and join you at some point.

Keep your head up dude - you CAN do this.

God Bless,
Eric