WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

I guess I'm confused. Are you saying you think she's lying about feeling "violated"?

No. I'm saying she told you to talk to him, which was the lie, and she didn't want you to. You called her bluff and now she's disappointed in you.

The people above have posted really smart things about going dark and letting her figure out this lie - the one about being reborn or whatever.

You posted that she said she would do ANYTHING for that church.

Seems like she won't even do half as much for your marriage.

Which leads me to ask, what are YOU getting out of this?

By the standards of our culture, I'm not getting anything out of this. Certainly not the "happiness" that everyone feels they are entitled to.

By the standards of what God asks us to do, I think I'm getting a lot. No it isn't pleasant, but I'm learning a lot about myself. The saying "that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" applies. And in terms of religious leaders I talk to, to a man they say they have nothing to add to what I am doing; I am doing the right thing. And in terms of what I feel is the message I'm getting from God, I am doing the right thing by holding on. Sure it hurts sometimes. But the "better or worse, sickness and health" part of my vow I took seriously. And I still love my wife. And I don't feel that I am entitled to 24/7 happiness. There are times when we have crosses to bear. We can run from them and take the easy way out. Or we can bear them, and reap the reward later.

I'm not sitting here in misery; although I will admit that I have random days where I feel down and impatient. My W can be very frustrating at times. But she also has flashes of hopeful words and actions that show she is not completely lost.

I just need to be thankful for those "flashes" and not see them as a quickening of our timeline. The Stockdale paradox is applicable here.