Is this piecing?

[flowmom]

H4L, you and I are in the same boat with one issue I think. The idea of the trauma that this is/will cause our children is a huge emotional hook for us. Until we face our fears about this and address our own abandonment issues, I believe that we will be held back from detaching and moving forward as people. We are feeling the crushing responsibility of creating a family life for our children...but this is actually out of our area of control right now, and we are torturing ourselves by assuming that responsibility. This is the #1 issue for me to deal with in IC, I think. Not only do I have to grieve my own losses, but I have to grieve for the loss of the dreams that I have for my children.