I have followed along on the other thread, so I know that you are still using controlling behavior, although you are now trying to hide it. That is not the same as giving it up. You can't have a trust relationship without trust. It really is that simple. You need to stop asking the man who works with her who she talks to at work. You need to stop contacting OM and OMW, and you need to come clean about the fact that until now you have done that. You need to talk to your wife and be honest with her if you want honesty in return. Anything less is not change. Telling her the truth isn't going to change her plans in the short term, she is planning to leave. But if you really change, maybe she will change her mind later.
