MLC Saga, contd...

[elfie]

Celestial, hi:

A friend convinced me to see a lawyer right after H left. The L told me then that he wasn't liable for child support once children are over 18 and that in order for him to have to pay any support for them (being still students), the children themselves would have to file a claim. At that point and time I didn't know what the development of our R would be like, so I didn't do anything, thinking that if I involved lawyers and such it would make matters worse between us.

You see, for a few months after exposure of the A, H acted towards me as though he was willing to come back, he just "needed time to heal" as he put it. And since I was too frustrated with all this, I did all the wrong things, especially bringing up the "forbidden" subject of ow often, which in turn pushed him away. At some point he said to me that I will never change and he started distancing.

Just think, that although we had Xmas together as a family, H for the first time in our long life together,hadn't bought a present for me. Yet, he was home, ate with us the Xmas dinner I had prepared, I gave him his presents, but he had nothing for me. I wonder if that had anything to do with any of the "children" in him...Now that I think about it, I think it must have..
I tried to ignore it of course and I never said anything..
The same story with my birthday, he didn't even send me an e-card. Mind you, he had always been the one in our R that always remembered such things as cards and presents, etc.

In retrospect, I see myself shell-shocked for about a year now, confused as to what is the right thing to do, so as not to make things worse.

The L's advice was to have a meeting with H and discuss finances. So I called him, suggested we go out to dinner together to discuss a few things and he accepted after I promised to him that I wouldn't bring up the ow issue. However, a few minutes through dinner, after xchanging some pleasantries and he seemed to be fine and calm, the moment I brought up the subject of finances and what his intentions were in that deptmt., his face changed from anger and he cut me off saying: "I see, all you care about is money" in a derogatory way. I was left speechless at his reaction, as I realized then that he had really lost it. I had to immediately change the subject in order to avoid a scene in public and to make him stay to finish the meal, because he was ready to leave.

All this is so painful...