Husband being hateful and cruel. Is this a stage?

[ericmsant2]

Hi CK

Sorry I did not respond sooner but I've been doing a fair amount of self reflection and needed to step back for a day or so.

How do you deal with friends and family who tell you to just move on and don't try to save your marriage?

Your friends and family see you in pain and what to stop the pain so in there minds you need to move on. What I try to do is avoid any conversation about our M. Remember you cannot control what your H says to your friends but you can control what you say. If you are getting a lot of pressure to move on then you may need to distance yourself for a while until they realize that you are committed to trying to work on the M. You should also remind them that you are working on yourself and taking this time for YOU and that when YOU feel comfortable you will make the appropriate choice.

they look at me like I'm nuts. Or I get the look of the "poor soul, she's so lost right now and isn't thinking straight."

Very normal....ask yourself why are you doing this. Remember you can only control YOU. I have to learn that my response to things are in my control and that I really cannot get someone to "see" my point of view. Everyone is different and entitled to there own thoughts, you may not agree but must feel secure enough in yourself to be able to stand for what YOU believe in.

So, I guess I am just going to have to force myself to put one foot in front of the other one, right? When what I really want to do is go back to bed and put the covers over my face.

This is probably a sign of depression, some of which is normal for us LBS's; however, you need to fight it. Do not fall so far down into a pit that you cannot climb back up. I recently read an article about depression as being "internalized anger" - are you angry? Angry about your sitch...angry about the lot that you have been cast. If so, then you need to find an outlet for this anger. What have you done in the past to release anger.

CK - this stuff is hard to deal with. You need to say to yourself that regardless of what happens you will be fine. You need to keep saying this until you believe it. Trust me it does not happen over night but you will begin to realize that you will make it.

I'm praying for you CK. You are not alone.

Now...here is a little homework assignment...please post 10 things that YOU would like to do for GAL activities.

God Bless,
Eric