I think your kids are old enough to sit wtih you and you can confront him as a family. This is SERIOUS.
Next time he is out late drinking I would have allt hree of you waiting at home for him to come back and all three of you confront him when he comes in the door.
And his feelings for her are NOT real.
Infidelity uses lies, covert activity, the excitement of the forbidden... these are stimulants to EXCITE him... not to mention himself plying himself with alcohol.
If you take these items out of the cocktail mix then he has no feelings for her... its just excitement... and now an addiction as well.
This is the same thing married people do when sex life gets hum drum... They change what they do to get excitement into their relatinoship again and stimulate things for themselves again.
That is NOT love they are looking for when they do that, its EXCITEMENT.. adrenaline and all those other brain chemicals as you like to call it.
His LOVE is for YOU - period. He is confusing excitement with "love"
Partially this has to do with the myriad of meanings north american culture applies to teh term "love", but I won't go into that...
He is excited by her (and he artificially stimulates that), but he loves you.
