The dreaded LIMBO

[4luv]

Hi all,

My photoshoot for my desserts went EXCELLENT!! Lots of relief and not as stressed and caught up on some much needed sleep.

I still haven't verbally spoken to my husband. Our very, very limited communication is through text. He texted me to see how our son was doing with the pneumonia. I was to the point about his condition. At one point I texted back "call...driving" as I was about to be on the road. Of course husband didn't call. Husband randomly texted me "I love you" the night of my photoshoot. It was kind of random so I didn't know how to respond. I have so many things I want to say to husband and so much anger that I think right now its best for me not to respond unless it is regarding our son. I think the saying "Don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say" applies in my case. I also noticed that the singles website that husband would always be on, he hasn't logged on in the last 7 days. He used to be on this website chatting for hours throughout the day.

MIL has actually spoken to husband on the phone and says that he doesn't sound like himself. She asked him "have you spoken to your family..checked on your wife and son?" He told her "no, i really need to get it together."

I don't know what is going on with husband. I told MIL that he texted me"I love you" but for all I know he could have meant to send that to OW. MIL says that husband knew exactly who he was texting and that he is probably trying to feel me out to see how I feel towards him after that phone call.

Honestly I do love my husband but I don't trust him right now. His web of lies are so deep that even the smallest thing from him I don't trust. I don't know where the truth ends and the lies begin with him. I have been thinking alot lately and I do want my marriage but I don't know how you build trust from that point. Its not even just the OW, its the everyday things I still don't trust. How do I know when my husband is being real or if he is manipulating me and playing a game. I never know if his actions or words are real or if they are part of this 'game' that he is playing. All of this has made me think twice about our marriage.