Turning to you for hope with WAH

[pandora]

I've been back and forth on the MLC thing...he's had some classic signs...bought a convertible, lost a ton of weight, is really into the way he looks, has been reflecting on his life, and talking a lot to his female co-worker.

The first lesson is patience. You didn't get into this fix overnight, and you won't be able to repair it overnight. To coin a phrase, fixing your marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.

I've been working on this for 11 months -- check out my story at the link at the start of this thread (not all the right way that's for sure but definitely for a large chunk of time)! I think that's why ppl are starting to tell me to move on... I am in this for the long haul but at what point do i need to get a clue?

As for goals to focus on -- what are his main complaints about the R to date? Is there anything you can take on as a "180" project?

Main complaints are that I wasn't a good wife in the beginning. I took away his confidence and basically didn't listen to him. He says he tried to be a good husband (which no doubt he was) and I basically didn't get it and treated him badly. Also, that I wasn't there as a support to him...he didn't feel like he could come to me with anything w/o feeling like he might "get in trouble" or be "judged." Do I see what he's saying, yes! So much so...it eats away at me. The issue with that complaint, though, is that it's like 5 years old! I have since changed SO much and very genuinely. Other complaints that he has voiced are not being decision maker, neglecting him, being too concerned about finances, etc. All those things too...I've changed. I don't want this to come off as self-centered but I know I'm a good wife now. I'm loving, respectful, give him attention, admiration and appreciation, take care of the house, look attractive, etc. My 180s have been to be a fascinating woman (not sure if anyone here has read fascinating womanhood).

TBC...