MLC, H and me

[courageous wife]

So, just journaling I guess! After my last post, I went to bed and basically went a little crazy...I had the house to myself so I screamed, I yelled and threw myself around on the bed and think if anyone would have heard or seen that I would be in a straight jacket right now but by george...I felt so much better when I woke up in the morning! I guess I needed to let it all out...I have been romaniticing our marraige and in reality, it was a FAR cry from what I have been dreaming!

I can't say that I am fully detached but I think I am fnally starting to "feel" that way...it is about time! I don't care (at least for right this minute) what happens to my H....he is on his own!

Went to ss and dil's for dinner the other night and she and I walked by a house that might be up for rent in the next few months and we talked about how cute it is and it is only 2 blocks from them and close to both schools and I kinda got excited at the idea of moving and starting over!

Went with a friend and saw the movie "the Last Song". At first, I thought it might be a mistake because of the beginning story line but it was a wonderful movie and although it is just a story, if we remember that feeling of when you first fell in love with your H and how the mind constantly thought of them and it was all butterflies and happy thoughts? Well, now, constantly thinking of my H makes me sad and angry and I don't want that feeling anymore! I hope to someday get those butterflies back, if not with H, then so be it!!!

So Mila, for now, I am choosing #2!

CX-you are right...WE will be ok!

FM-need to catch up with you! I had been "hiding out" in the house hoping to not run into neighbors etc. but no more! Back to walking again and going to go out and do some yard work today!