Sorry to see you here, but you are in the right place to get the support you need.
Trying and Deep's posts resonate very closely to my situation. Read and re-read them, as they cut to the chase both on your current situation, and a strategy for you to work on.
I have a WAW who walked out and she has said and done alot of the things your W has said/done. Even to the point where she started to dress and undress in the bathroom, as though she was uncomfortable with me seeing her.
Unfortunately, I was in denial for over a year and consequently, I have found out since she was/is seeing OM. As tough as it is we have to move on, though it does not stop you from DB'ing in the process.
As long as it isn't a dealbreaker, if you were to find out she is in an EA/PA would you want her back? I did not heed the advice I was given then because I was scared to upset my W with the actions I was advised to do, but when I read those posts now I so wish I had implemented the advice I was given during the early days. It seems counter-intuitive but it might have worked in restoring my M, but more importantly it would have helped me restore my self esteem and not be seen as a doormat.
As Deep has said, you cannot dismiss the fact she may be involved or interested in OP. WAS's do not do this on a whim. My W had planned when she was going to tell me it was over - the week after we came back from a family skiing holiday!! Can you believe that. Her mindset will be months ahead of yours, my W had grieved the end of our marriage three months before she told me, crying in her car going to work.
When I think back, the non-contact, going out all of a sudden, weight loss (though that could have been through stress), going to the gym, new clothes, underwear, guarding her mobile etc.
The person my W is now is not the person she was - a person I would not want to be with, though a part of me will always love her, as she is the mother of my children.
Why would you want to be with somebody that has treated you this way? Would you accept this behaviour if it came from a neighbour or work colleague, as it shows a complete lack of respect towards you. Love and respect are very closely linked, and it appears your W does not respect you at the moment.
It has taken me 15 months to get to this point. I am still hurt, but I am better than I was a year ago, no question. Please, please take the advice you are being given here, it is coming from people who have gone through this, and in the main our WAS' do follow a script, we, as the LBS's have to rise above the garbage we see and hear.
Make changes for you to become a better man for YOU and not her.
Good luck.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
