PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY MARRIAGE!

[tryingtilDorR]

The pain is excruciating, I know. I remember not being able to function day to day, but it gets better over time. You have to be mentally tough.

Think about the person you were when you and your W got together. What were you like? Do you still have the same qualities she liked in you then? Try to figure this out - it is something you need to know in order for your W to develop attraction to you again.

Dealing with your shortcomings or issues is also important - whatever you contributed to your M's problems needs to be addressed and it will take time for your W to believe the changes as others have said above.

Time is your friend. Don't do anything to push her away, like beg her, give her ultimatums, etc.

I REALLY suspect an OM in this case. WAWs are unhappy, but in most cases when they say 'its over I want to separate' they have someone else or are thinking about someone else and want to be 'free'. I know this is hard to consider and is painful, but you must open your eyes to reality. Checking her cell records is s good start.

Does she work outside the home? Does she do things online, like have a facebook account that she is active with? If you can, start looking there (use a keylogger or something like that to see what she is doing online).

If she does have an OM it will help you to understand a lot of her motivation and then put the right plan of action in place. If she doesn't have an OM then great, you have a simpler problem to deal with.

Others have already mentioned these I think, but at this point I would say you best plan of attack is:
a) Do whatever you can to confirm/deny that there is in OM, and even if you can't find evicence keep looking
b) Don't talk to her about the R unless she brings it up - get yourself to the point ( or just fake it for now ) where you believe you will be OK with or with out the M
c) Don't show her affection - let her come to you. You may have to wait a LONG time, but you reaching out to her just pushes her away.
d) Work on yourself which it sounds like you are already doing - address whatever issues led to your M problems
e) Start to get your own life (GAL) - do things on your own and make her stat wondering what's going on with you

thats all I can think of for now.